Thank you, Cum-Not!

When Student Harvey Prior had his parents come to stay overnight, the ritual of cleaning the flat would begin. We're all familiar with having to clean the sheets last minute, and everyone knows the embarrassment of hard to remove semen stains from the bed. After all, the last thing he wanted was Mum and Dad lying in a pool of their own genetic material. But a trip down the cleaning product aisles of his local Supermarket always produced the same result. The traditional range promise to budge the usual problematic offenders-Mud, Dirt, Blood, and Ink. But what about sperm?

"I mean I've never had mud in the bed before," said Priors. "O.K blood maybe, but what about sperm? None of the usual brands even mention semen."

But now there's a product aimed squarely at the splatter soaked sheets we're all familiar with under the duvet. Cum-Not, a revolutionary new cleaning spray from Nazdar Enterprises, promises to completely remove those hard to budge semen trails right off your sheets.

Works well on upholstery

Cum-Not utilises a specially designed anti-protein enzyme based Polycarboxylate, designed specifically to break down and destroy the protozoa that makes up the majority of your deposits.

It's this ability to isolate and attack the root of the problem that it's makers claim gives it an advantage over other traditional stain removal products. "The problem with other stain removers is they're all multi-purpose," claims Nazdar. "We've come up with a product that is not only target specific, but aimed squarely at the cleaning needs of the modern young man."

So does it work? "It's fantastic," claimed Prior. "Just a quick squirt of Cum-Not, leave it for one minute, and then straight into the washing machine. My sheets are so clean you could sleep on them. "

Hard to reach places are no match for Cum-Not

Or anywhere you’ll find semen

And Cum-Not doesn't just work on sheets. Have an important date coming up? Need to impress? Well you can use Cum-Not on absolutely any material, without the need for rubbing or harsh scratching. Clothes, floors, ceilings, automobile engines, kitchen items, anywhere you'll find sperm, Cum-Not tackles them all with ease. Just one spray, wipe, and no more semen.